Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Still in a little bit of a funk at work. The bright spot was a victory of sorts I had with two women in my life all within the matter of about 10 minutes.

It was announced that we were to have a mandatory Saturday this weekend. This is my weekend to have Johnny visit so there was a major conflict. My sales figures have been funky right along with my mood, so I knew I might have a hard sell. I decided to try a compromise.

I called the Ex and told her my dilemma. I suggested that, if I could talk my boss into my working only a half day that I could leave Johnny alone at home. Without a moment's hesitation she agreed. We had written into our divorce decree that I couldn't leave him alone until he was 14. Of course that was written when there was LOTS of animosity between us and Johnny was only 3. The animosity has waned and John has matured. It's a relief to be able to talk and reason with her after all this time. It does no one any good the other way.

My next hurdle was my supervisor. Being a parent of a child around the same age, it was an easier sell that I thought. I may still have a slight pang of nervousness as I walk out the door Saturday morning but I think it'll be fine.

When both the boys were going to their first day of school my Ex was the teary-eyed one. I was a little less stressed over it. About 6 months ago, on one of John's visits, I wanted to walk down to the convenience store down the street. John did not want to go. I decided to leave him for the 10 minutes it would take to walk there and back. No problem, right?! I got as far as the end of my driveway and stopped dead in my tracks. I could not move. I started laughing at myself. He was grown....I could leave him...no problem.....I'll be right back. After 5 minutes of arguing with myself, I turned around and went back empty handed. At least this time, I'll have the job responsibility to force me out the door and not the cravings for ice cream!

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