Monday, November 20, 2006

Recent things that have annoyed me.

"Money Can't Buy Me Love" being used in a Macy's TV commercial. It's bad enough MIchael Jackson bought the catologue of Beatles music out from under Paul but to continually sell of the rights to these songs is pouring salt in the wound.

"American Pie" being used in a Chevrolet TV commercial. OK, I understand that Don McLean hasn't really had a career in years but why couldn't they have gone after Sammy Johns instead?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

OK, this is cool. Give it a try.
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

And the site breaks down the info a little further. There are 59,994 Eatons in the US which is slightly larger than the population of St. Augustine, FL, Greenboro, NC or Portsmouth, NH!!!!!!!

Monday, November 13, 2006

OK, everyone who thought my saying something to "The Other Person" was a very bad idea go to the head of the class. Monday was not a good day.

After a long, tense silence, she send me a note. In it she simply said that she was in a very serious relationship which was nowhere near any possibility of ever changing and that she felt very uncomfortable. She asked for some time and distance and that I respect her wishes.

Am I sorry I did what I did? Yes and no.

Yes because it has adversely affected a fun friendship. The day was long, boring and quiet without the contact with her. The notes back and forth between us would almost always make me smile or laugh; she has a killer sense of humor at times as twisted as mine. I could also make her laugh; which always felt good. The silly things we did to break the monotony were a perfect protection from the grind of the day. And now it is silent.

I am not sorry because it is one less regret I have. I took a real and honest feeling I had and made sure the person knew. Like I said that day; for better or worse.

I begged with her (And am begging now as I know she reads this blog) to forget what I had told her; to dismiss it as a senior moment. As far as I am concerned it is a closed case. All I wanted to do was to let her know that I saw her as an ideal person and I still do. I was not looking to disrupt her current relationship just to be completely honest how I felt about her. There is no where for those feelings to go so they get put to the background and we go on.

I do hope that sometime in the near future we can return to being friends. First, I do hope she lets me know exactly how she feels. Right now, all I get is silence. We have talked about allot of different things over the past 6 months and I would think we could talk this over.

Is she pissed off at me? I she scared by me? Is she creeped out? Is she hurt by what I said? Did I betray a trust? I would like to think we can take all the emotions about this on both our sides, talk it out, get it over and done and then go back to being two slightly crazy people who try to pass the time at a mind numbing job.

OK, I'm done blogging just to one person. She asked that I respect giving her some space and I will.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Ahhhhhhh......a day off from work.

Relaxation. Sleeping late. Vegging out with movies.

I'm sure someone was doing that today; however, I was stuck shuttling between doctors' visits.

My day started with the worst of the two, the ear doctor. I swear this guy vacuumed the inside of my skull! It turns out I had....get ready with the jokes......fungus growing inside me ears. A simple version of swimmers' ear when the ear wax gets wet and contaminated causing the infection. He got it all out and my hearing is 100% again; although I am having problems remembering 1989. He also coated the inside of me ears with a medication which should keep it from recurring. He was so confident that he scheduled a follow up for a year from now.

I then had to play medical courier and fetch my own x-rays for the podiatrist. He ended up doing his own x-rays and it turns out....TAA-DAAA....fallen arches! No surgery; just better footwear and continued weight loss. I will be going in for cortisone shots until the inflammation goes down, but it went much better than I thought it was going to.

So, to all those who jumped to conclusions about my health....BITE ME!

As I was sitting in these waiting rooms I got to ponder "The Other Person" some more. And it, again, comes down to regrets. I know I have told the story at the beginning of my blogging but it bears repeating.

When my father died I was 900 miles away and didn't get a goodbye with him. I cannot ever remember telling my father that I loved him. When my Uncle Eddy, who was the second closest male in my life after my father, died I didn't get a goodbye nor can I never remember telling him I loved him.

Since then I have taken every opportunity I can to let those in my life know what they mean to me. I never want to have that kind of regret ever again. Whether it's telling someone I appreciate a favor they have done, a kindness they have shown, always saying "I Love You" to my son when we hang up the phone or telling someone I find them attractive; there is no difference. I would rather take the chance of making someone feel awkward with my being so open than having missed the opportunity in sharing that part of myself with another human being.

Again, Monday should be interesting.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

For better or worse I dropped my bomb today and told "The Other Person" at work how I felt. And I did it in my usual Towaway style.......half screwed up!

I first was going to try something smart.

OK....if you know me well enough you know I don't always do smart all that well.

I won't bore you with the details except that it too me two different tries and when I was finally able to get the words out they were not exactly what I had rehearsed in my head; but I guess life does never happen the way we rehearse.

She knew I had a note I was going to give to "The Other Person" and seemed to assume I was giving it to her for her opinion. However, as I gave it to her I stammered out, "You have been asking for weeks who 'The Other Person' is.'s you".

The silence only lasted 3 or 4 seconds but I swear the earth stopped spinning, clocks hands held their place and not one living creature passed a breath until she reacted by saying,

"Why me?!"

I used to say that I felt as if my life were being written by Neil Simon. It was moments like this that convinced me of it.

We haven't talked since as I was headed off to a training class and by the time I got out she had left for the three day weekend. My motivation to finally drop this bomb was that I could not have gone through the extended weekend without saying anything; that it would be sheer torture to have this nagging at me. Well, that's exactly where I am now anyway. That worked well.

Actually, it isn't that bad. I took the chance. I didn't let it turn into a deeper regret; I had said something. I am trusting that, since she reads this blog, she understands my motivations and that it does not adversely affect our friendship. Even if nothing comes of it; that's OK. I've been honest about my feelings and I didn't keep them inside. It's simply information for her to have to use or not use as she sees fit. She can ignore it and we can go on like the friends we already are. If things change in her life she already knows there are possibilities out there.

Monday should be interesting.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I usually don't post comments to a comment......but let me get this out of my system.

I have a bone spur. It is a extra growth of bone material. It could be a part of my weight could also any number of other factors.

There have been a couple of comments posted that give the impression that I am in some kind of declining health. I AM FRACKING FINE! I walk 5 mile hikes. I have normal blood pressure and cholesterol. All I have is a minor inconvenience which is at times painful. There is nothing wrong with my back or legs. Yes, I have put back on a portion of the weight I lost since surgery but ONLY a portion. I have stabilized in my weight over the past three months, I am no longer regaining any more weight. At the same time I have not lost any; that I hope to attack now that the Florida weather is more comfortable and I can resume my 5 mile weekend hikes.

I am fine. I am healthy. Unless you have a Phd after your name please don't diagnose. And if you're going to make some disparaging remake have the nards to sign you name to it.

Monday, November 06, 2006

I am in a bit of a quandary about "The Other Person" at work. I have been contemplating letting her know how I feel about her but am stopped by the fact that she is in a relationship.

No, I'm not afraid of rejection. After all these years, I'm used to it by now.

Part of me feels it is unfair to the guy she is dating. No, there is no jewelry but 5 months does mean a commitment of some kind and part of me feels I have no right intruding. I have been on the receiving end of that myself in the past and know how it feels.

I don't want to upset her life or steal her away. I only want her to know how I feel. What she does with that is up to her. She is young and her life could change. What seems like "the right thing" now could be totally different in a few months. I also enjoy our friendship now and if I were to drop this bomb it would have an affect on that friendship.

I hate regrets. I already regret not saying something to her 5 months ago when the window of opportunity was open and I made a different, and eventually, wrong choice. There are changes at work which will make it harder for us to be in contact and some changes may be coming in her life which may take her out of the area as well. I know I would regret it more if I didn't say something.

Or am I being selfish.

How would I feel if I never say anything and miss another opportunity? What is the worst that could happen; she says, "Thanks but no thanks". At least I would have let her know.

I continue to ponder.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I finally got myself to the clinic at work. First it was because of an ear infection similar to swimmers ear. While I was there I started asking about these pains in my legs and feet. I just love getting old!

It all started about three weeks ago, just days before our trip to Universal Halloween Horror Nights. Just as the manager of the Publix locked his door my legs got the worst muscle cramps I have ever had. It felt as if the muscles in my calves were wrapping around the bone and twisting in opposite directions. I have never felt such pain. It took almost an hour for me to walk it off to a point where I could actually walk. If Publix were still open I could have gotten a few bottles of tonic water instead I had to go across town to the all night drug store and spend three times as much money for quinine pills. Just as I got dressed to go I pointed my toe to put on my shoes and put the leg back into a spasm.

While the spasm did finally subside I was left with a constant, stabbing pain in the ankle and heel of both feet. I could manage through most of my work day seated in my cubicle but my enjoyment of Universal was limited. After walking around for a few hours the pain got so bad I had to sit out all of the haunted houses. After x-rays and ultrasound it has been found to be bond spurs. Nasty little bastards. I am taking a steroid to bring down the inflammation of the tissue around these little calcium collections. If that does not work we'll look at some other options.

It is so much fun getting old. My fun right now is watching my bread grow back in to see how much more grey hairs will be there this time around!