Wednesday, April 23, 2008

"It was 20 years ago today....."

Not only word to one of the greatest songs ever but the first words that ran through my head today. It was on this date in 1988 that I married for the first time. Yeah, I wondered where my ex was and if I ever crossed her mind today and then I started thinking in the bigger picture.

What had happened to me in those 20 years.

I have changed careers a couple of times and may be on the verge of yet another turn in my life. I have fallen in love twice since then. I married and divorced again and almost married again. I left the place I thought would always be my home. I lived in my car for 2 weeks and have lived in 8 different places. I have been unemployed and gained and lost positions and prestige in my current job. I have lost some of the dearest members of my family. I have lost and gained some of the best friends I will ever have. I have had money in the bank and bounced checks like the Globetrotters handle basketballs.

And then....there's my son.

Suddenly all the thoughts of what might have been were silenced by where I was today and what I had in my life. I've often said that the things I've been through in my life have gone a long way to make me who I am today and made me stronger. All of that comes into balance when I look into my son's eyes, touch his face or simply share a laugh and a smile that I know there is no other place or situation I would rather be in for my life.

But....if anyone sees my ex....tell her I said "Hi".

Monday, April 07, 2008

I had the weirdest string of dreams lately; well, nightmares, actually. Over the weekend I continued to have dreams about my ex-wives. And the worst part was that each of the dreams dealt with our breakups. Of course, it's been a few days and all of the details are gone and the dreams weren't a replay of our breakups but what I remember were they were as if the break ups were happening today; bits and pieces of every day life of today placed over our breaking up.

The absolute wort part of the whole thing was that these were dreams with a very strong emotional element. I would wake up each time upset, depressed and emotionally drained as if I had actually gone through the heart wrenching scenes in real life. They wouldn't stop, either. If I woke up in the middle of a dream about my first wife I would go back to sleep and go into a dream about my second wife. All weekend long the dreams kept switching back and forth between one and the other and just wouldn't stop. It was beginning to piss me off. Last night I was almost afraid to go to sleep but the dreams finally were over with.

Some say there are reasons and meanings in our dreams. Others say that it is the brain resolving thoughts leftover from the day. Freud said sometimes a banana is just a banana. Even though it is coming up on what would have been my 20th anniversary with my first wife I haven't been "going through anything" over it and my second wife and I have been getting along wonderfully lately. I haven't been wrestling with unresolved emotions and regrets; I've been feeling pretty damn good about life in general. Must be the universe's way of just fucking with me a little.


Maybe one of the ex's learned how to place a curse on me.

Now THAT is a definite possibility!

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

I live for today! April Fool's Day has always been a favorite of mine and today was one of the best.

My friend Crystal has a compulsion; she folds her trash before throwing it away. It was during lunch a few months ago when I first noticed it. She was done with her meal and very meticulously, and with a quiet reverence in a kind of ceremony, she would fold what ever food wrapper she had just used. Tin foil was flattened and pressed like a crisp, clean shirt, candy bar wrappers were folded over and over all neat and tidy. Only then was it ready to be thrown away. This continued each and every time we had lunch; it was her lunch ritual.

Of course, being a good friend, I called her on it. Yes, I laughed at her as well! I would also, from time to time, reach over and crush up her perfect little trash origami. She would sigh, say something sarcastic and start all over again returning her trash to its perfect pre-disposal form.

As April 1 approached my other lunch buddy, Clark, and I starting planning. At first we thought about filling Crystal's cubicle with packing peanuts. But I had a better idea. Instead of the peanuts the image of her desk covered with crinkled and crumpled food wrappers was a divine inspiration.

We had three weeks and set right to work. Each little snack wrapper went into an empty desk drawer. Clark even sent an email to his sales team sating he was collecting food wrappers as part of his son's class project. He would then send these wrappers to me by interoffice mail. Each time I had one of the stuffed envelopes I would laugh; the image of this envelope stuffed with crinkling plastic and foil wrappers being shuffled around the building with other important business paperwork was priceless. It was if the entire company was helping out with the gag.

And here's what we ended up with.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I had set this up the night before which allowed most of the night crew to stop by, laugh and take their own photos. The next morning I waited in the row next to her desk waiting for her arrival.

"I can't believe this! Oh, my God!"

Followed quickly by, "I'm going to kill you!"