The worst part about my visits with my son is bringing him back.

He slept most of the way there which gave me the chance to just look at him. He amazes me. Here is a life I brought into the world. He is an independent, living, breathing, thinking individual who would not be here if it weren't for me.

I look at him and I think of the past. I imagine myself at that age. It floods me with memories of age 12. I remember Junior High School. Trips I took. My parents. My house. Things I did to pass the time. Friends I had. I also thought of how many of those things are still a part of my life today. I took all those memories and tried overlapping them with his life today. How does he look at things? How does he perceive life? What is important to him?

I look at him and I think of the future. I try to imagine him at my age. I picture the two of us getting together for drinks and talking about life. I picture him bringing me his first girlfriend. I picture him handing me his first child. I picture him resting his hand on my cheek and telling me goodnight for the last time.

So many times this weekend I wanted to just grab him and hug him till it hurt. He's going to be amazing to watch the older he gets. I'm glad I'm going to be there to watch as much as I can.