I have just gotten off the telephone after a four hour call with the "young lady" OMIGOD! The only way I knew so much time had passed was by how my need for a bathroom visit grew. And there was no way in hell I was going to end the conversation before she wanted to!

We talked about work related stuff for about 90 minutes and then all about our sons, religion, family history....just about every thing. We laughed. We confided. And I kept hearing that whooshing sound. I think I still have that same stupid grin on my face I had during the entire call. This was amazing.

The one thing I did learn was that she has been seeing someone. Not that I'm deterred, though. I don't want to go into much of the details here. Suffice to say the window of opportunity for yours truly may still be wide open. It looks as if we will get together Sunday and she offered the idea of getting together with both of our boys next weekend. HER IDEA!

Yes, Johnny is coming for the weekend next week. My sister, Kathleen, is picking him up on her way here on Friday. I am so looking forward to seeing his reaction to my weight loss. I don't think he can remember me as anything but big. I imagine his eyes bugging out gigantic-cartoon style. It is going to be so good just to have him around here again. I've missed him so much.

This "young lady" slays me. She makes me speechless. There was a moment today, when I was trying to be smooth and debonair about suggesting a possible get together, and the minute she got to my desk every word I had prepared in my mind disappeared. A complete void! I stared at her like a lobotomy patient with out a thought in my head. She appeared to think it was a cute moment and I did make her laugh.

SHE CALLED ME!

I am so floored by that fact. She apparently keeps opening the door of opportunity for me. She talked a little about the relationship she is in and I had all I could do not to open the flood gates emotionally on my end. My friend at work has been dubbed my "sponsor" It's like n AA, you call your sponsor whenever you feel you're going to go off the wagon; my friend talks me down from saying something stupid or moving too fast. She is so lucky I don't have her home phone number or I'd be calling her right now!

I was so stymied when she started talking about what is happening with the guy she's seeing. I wanted to offer myself as the perfect alternative. OK, so maybe that would have been too much. Fighting to trip over my tongue was that I hoped my interest in her wasn't a problem. But I kept it inside. I decided to let her steer the conversation at that point. I'm waiting until after next weekend with the kids before I go that far.

On advice from my "sponsor", I haven't said any of the thousands of things I really want to say. I haven't gone off the wagon yet. But when the conversation was being steered that way I certainly felt as if she was trying to push me off!

And I want to be pushed off!!!!!