You know how good yesterday was?

Well, that day's over with apparently!

I got up early this morning to take care of two very important appointments. One was with the county over an old issue which was finally being put to rest and the other was for my double secret probation plans to which I've been alluding recently. Both of these appointments have been postponed for one reason or another; the one with the county being more pressing given the legalities involved.

So, I got in my car with plenty of time to be at the county office just as the doors open and headed off down the road. When I was no more than a mile away.....the engine began to sputter and the car stalled.

Right at an intersection at a red light with half a dozen cars behind me smack-dab in the height of rush hour. Unable to start the car I pushed it off the road, crossing another lane of busy traffic and sat there waiting for the aneurysm in my head to explode to put a perfect cap on the morning.

The car would not start but the clock was still running. The person in the county office had already given me a two day extension on this meeting because I had to wait for pay day so as I was walking back to my home I was hoping his good mood was continuing and he wouldn't laugh at the tried and true "My car broke down" line.

I was able to get a friend who lives nearby to help me out. I made it to the county office and the county representative didn't bat an eye that I was an hour later than I had promised. Images of me throttling him with pieces of my broken down car flashed through my head but I figured if he didn't mind that I should let it go as well.

My other appointment was also as understanding although I could hear a tone in his voice similar to what I expected at the county office. I'm sure this will be counted against me during our double secret probation discussions.

As typical of my luck, of course, the car breaks down on a Friday, which basically strands me until Monday when my local garage opens again. Yes, I do see the one silver lining in all of this; at least it didn't happen in Orlando!

Today was fantastic! Every time I'm in a recording studio like this I feel so at home. I got to Orlando in time to read through the script and get an idea of what character I was playing. His name is Hunter. Hunter is a Lieutenant leading a Marine style, Roughnecks kind of strike force fighting a bunch of evil nano-technology badies that take over the Earth. Oh, and his big, muscular, bald and black; something of a young Vingh Raimes.

Ron Tornnton showed up and we immedieatly jumped right into recording and had it done within 20 minuets. OK, so it's only a 7 minuet film, but this was quick and easy. I did seem to impress Ron with how quickly I took to the script and we worked back and forth easily.

The finished project is scheduled to be completed on June 15th. I can hardly wait to see it. After the recording session I went to the DAVE School and got to see some of the early CGI work being done on it and even saw what I am going to look like, I look pretty good as a brother!

I also took the opportunity to pick Ron's brain about getting into this voice acting thing seriously. He agreed that I do have a talent for it and that I could have good chances for getting work. He suggested some avenues I had not considered; specifically while still being in Florida. Moving to Los Angeles might have to be a possibility in the future; something I have considered and do have on the list of things to ponder. There is some more work to be done on this project and Ron might be able to get me more exposure doing other projects for the school itself and will be working up some industry contacts for me.

Today was everything I had been hoping it was going to be. Am I ready to pull up stakes and head of to Hollyweird? Am I practicing an acceptance speech for a Annie or Daytime Emmy? Well, OK....YES! But I am also trying to make small, measured and intelligent steps towards those dream moments. For now, I'll be happy being a big, bad ass Marine Lietuenant!

No posts in a while only because not much has been going on. That is, until tomorrow.

I head up to Orlando tomorrow to record another voice over performance for the DAVE School. As mentioned before, this is my first time working for real-live Hollywood producer Ron Thornton. been trying my best to keep a professional demeanor when dealing with him but I do have to admit a race in the blood every time he calls and I hear him leaving a message. The last time I got to the phone he commented on how out of breath I sounded. I played it off as simply running for the phone. If he had only seen me jumping from my chair at this PC, almost stumbling out of the chair onto the floor and racing to the phone as fast as I could.

It's not just the geekieness of being in the same circle as this guy but what it is possibly going to mean for a possible voice acting career. The rest of the cast had recorded last week but Ron had not been able to contact me in time. I thought I had blown my very first chance to impress him with a certain level of professionalism. He was very gracious and has scheduled this session for me to come in alone and do my part. I have not seen a single page of the script and will be flying by the seat of my pants on this. I'm hoping this will be an exercise in improvisation and acting skills that will impress him.

This is feeling like one of those "fork in the road" moments. Where I stood 25 years ago and could have gone further with using my voice to make a career I seem to have it being presented to me again. There were reasons for my choice back then and I had my own perceptions of how my life should go. It has been a long and convoluted road since then and it seems to have circled back on itself and I find myself at that same fork in the road. The road I originally took didn't seem to be the right one. We'll see where this path leads this time around.

This is going to be a positive post about my job!

Yes, it has been a while and I didn't want you to be shocked.

For almost a year I have been trying to get into the Corporate Training division. I have come sooooo close so many times that it has bordered on ridiculous. All of the other trainers have been rooting for me to get into that department as they see me as a perfect fit. Granted, those in that department are professional trainers with scads more education in "being" a trainer, but I am a performer and have felt I could perform well in this job. I have been with the company longer than most and could easily handle orientation classes. I have had almost every one of the trainers give me assistance and advice on the sly as I go for one interview after another but have never made it.

Recently, there were two more positions that opened and I immediately put in my transfer request and waited for an interview. Then, one after another, the positions were filled. Then, I got a notice that the department head still wanted an interview with me. I thought, maybe she was actually going to offer me a position right then and there, so I kept the appointment out of curiosity more than anything.

And I'm glad I did.

It quickly turned into a mentoring session in which she and my pal Jim, quite possibly the best trainer there, told me of another position available which they felt would be a perfect career path that could eventually lead to a training position. It was the first time in a long time that someone took the time to offer help to guide my "career" in the company. These people were taking an active and heartfelt interest in the 40 hours per week I was putting into the business other than how many times I picked up the phone. They were opening a door for me towards something which would benefit me and the company as well but, quite clearly, the emphasis was on me.

I cannot describe the feeling I came away with as I left that meeting. For months on end I was feeling like a drone in my company; a company I felt was becoming less and less the same place I had made my home over the past decade. I suddenly had back some of the passion and "at home" feeling I had enjoyed for so long. Before I left the building I had filled out the transfer paperwork for this other position. It will mean another cut in pay and I am already prepared for the idea of working a second job to keep my budget alive, but it will be worth it if it can make my working day something I can enjoy again.

Am I still looking at my voice over work? You bet yer ass! Do I have other irons in the fire? Oh, YES. But at least, now I will be able to be happy at my job like I have not been in a while. That feels nice.

Last week was a wonderful experience as I fought my way through a nasty stomach virus. On Tuesday morning I started feeling something in my stomach and went to the clinic my company provides. The nurse there said there was something going around in either a 24 hour or three week variety. Oh, good! Something to look forward to!

As the day wore on, it got worse. I tried taking a nap in my car during lunch but after lying there for only 5 minuets, I knew I had to go home. By 8 PM that night it had hit with full force. I'll save you all the gory details, but by the time I went back to work on Thursday I had lost 22 pounds! Most of that was lost in a seated position......'nuff said?

To add frustration to it all, when I finally was able to wake up on Wednesday, at around noon, I tried calling my supervisor at work and was greeted with a completely silent telephone; no dial tone. Luckily, I still had internet; so, I IM'd a co-worker to make the notification for me. Ah! The beauty of the 21st century! It turned out, when the service was finally restored on SUNDAY, that there was some damage to a cable a block and a half away from my place.

So, yes, it's been a fun week. I'm hoping things will be settling down to some normalcy after a weekend of more sleep as by body continues to recuperate. The one bright spot to this is that I am now in the lead in our "Biggest Loser" contest at work with losing those 22 pounds. There are a handful of us at work who have put money in a kitty and the person who loses the most get the cash. Not exactly the best way to lose the weight, but $200 is $200!!!!

I have been wanting to say something about the whole Don Imus situation but every time I got something ready the situation kept changing. Simply, I think it can be summed up in one word:

BULLSHIT

Is what Imus said offensive? To some, apparently so. Is that he said wrong? To some, apparently so. But to cut off his career because of it is sooooo wrong. Yes, it touched a nerve. Is it at all possible that the discourse on the problem be better served with someone like Imus still standing there to bring attention to the problem better that shoveling him out the door because of petty economics and pressure from some social leaders who themselves have not have the cleanest of pasts when it come to sensitive public statements?

Is what Imus said about the Rutgers women any worse than what Rush Limbaugh has spewed out over the years? Why is there no clamor when he questions Barak Obama's ethnic purity? Why weren't women's groups looking to oust him when he called politically active women Femi-nazis? Why didn't the Jewish population cry out as well?

One of the Rutgers women said in their very powerful press conference that they were "not defined by such terms". Well, if you are not defined by such terms then what is the friggin' problem? If Don Imus offends you there is that little button that allows you to change the station.

And is there any integrity too CBS pulling the plug on his radio show? Only if they go after some of the rap and hip hop recording artists on some of their labels who put out what some may consider much more "offensive" material.

I am an Imus fan. I am hoping that, even though CBS dumped him, some other network is already knocking on his door. I was not listening last week when he uttered the words "nappy headed hos". So I cannot say if, in my opinion, it was either funny or offensive. He did accomplish getting the country to talk more about race relations. Did he go too far? Possibly. But so what. It's only words.

Lenny Bruce always said "it is the suppression of the word that gives it it's 'evil power'" and has no place in a free society.

George Carlin said, I get weary of this zero tolerance bullshit. It's annoying. To begin with, it's a fascist concept; it's what Hitler and Stalin practiced. It allows for no exceptions or compassion of any kind. But even more important, it doesn't solve anything. The use of such a slogan allows those using it to claim they're doing something about a problem when, in fact, nothing is being done at all and the problem is being ignored. It's a cosmetic solution designed to impress the simpletons. Whenever you hear the phrase 'zero tolerance', remember, someone is bullshitting you."

It's not often when someone gets one over on me but it did happen today. I returned from the better part of a week's vacation to find my desk like THIS:



The entire desk had been blanketed in confetti! Everywhere! Even my chair was covered! Hanging over it all was a sign saying "Welcome Back!" But then there was the punchline.



I knew immediately who had done it; more on that in a moment. I went about clearing off my chair and most of the desk top so I could get some semblance of work done. This took about 20 minuets. I went to put something in my file cabinet when I found that my entire cabinet had been replaced; the top drawer was filled with more confetti and a sign saying, "We Missed You!"

I can take as good as I give and I have to admire when a good one is pulled on me and this certainly was a good one. And it was all perpetrated by my friend, Crystal. This was payback for my April Fools Day attack on her desk the previous week in which I turned every photo and piece of paper on her desk upside down and rearranged some of the keys on her PC keyboard. This took planning and some effort and it certainly has to be admired for is simplicity and how the punchline of the cabinet didn't reveal itself right away.

In the words of Bugs Bunny, "Of course, you know, this means war!"

I'm still a little groggy from lack of sleep but last night was a whirlwind.

I went to Orlando to the graduation presentation for the latest class from the DAVE School. This is the school for which I had done voice work in "Runners" more than a year ago. I was looking forward to this because, for some reason, my pal, George Takei was coming in to town. I made the arrangements to get in the door and I was able to bring along my friends Jim and Lisa, who just happened to be visiting from New York and wanted to get some face time with George for a charity event she was promoting. This would also give me the opportunity to meet Ron Thornton; he had been the special effects honcho on "Babylon 5" and "Roughnecks" and had the possibility of some more work for me with the DAVE School. So, on the surface it seemed like a fun evening with friends. I had no idea why George was going to be at this graduation.

....until I got to the DAVE School.

I got to town early and had time to kill so I stopped in at the school. As I was walking around I noticed all kinds of Trek material along one wall. Blueprints, renderings, and a poster.....for the new episode of "STAR TREK: New Voyages - World Enough and Time" starring George Takei!!!!!!! This was going to be great!

I got to Universal and met up with Jim. As we waited for the ceremony to begin, my other friend Lisa was delayed by the public transit system. George came in and was quickly swarmed by people. I made my way through and surprised him with my being there. We hugged and I pulled back to show him my weight loss.

"What have you done", he asked. I told him about my surgery and he gave me a sideways grin, "I would have know you anyway!" With that he was pulled away for the ceremony.

While my friend, Jim, is more into these fan produced films than I am; I will say that this was a fantastic show. It WAS a Star Trek episode. The effects that the students did was on par with anything produced in Hollywood. I got to speak with James Cawley, the man behind these films and told him, "I hope Rick Berman sees this and chokes!" With a minuscule budget he did was Berman was never able to do...produce a real episode of Star Trek.

After the graduation there was a big party at a local restaurant. Lisa had finally made it there and we had fun catching up as it had been years since i had seen her face to face. At the party I finally pulled Mr. Thornton aside to talk business. "So, Ron," I said simply, "I'm really glad to meet you."

He looked me square in the eyes and said, "OK, you can do it."

I think I heard my ears pop.

"I can hear it in your voice. You can easily do this part." I was ecstatic! I tried keeping my cool on the outside; talking story and character basics, while on the inside I was doing back flips.

When I could see the conversation was drawing to a close I could not pass up the opportunity, "Before you go, Ron, I just have to be a gook for a moment." I took his hand, shook it and said, "Thank you for Babylon 5! It was fantastic. I'm a big fan and am so glad to be able to work with you!"

He talked for a few minuets on how he wished he had the technology he had worked on to do "New Voyages" back when he did "B5". We ended with plans to touch base soon on when and where the recording will happen.

To say I am excited about this would be an understatement. This will be working with an actual Hollywood producer. I will take advantage of this and take some time to pick his brain about the business. Of course, he is not always going to be working at the DAVE school and I want to make sure he has my name in the back of his mind if he finds himself casting a project in Hollywood.

Oh! The part?! I will be playing an African American marine sergeant! I guess my deep voice did it!

Sometimes I do feel that signs are placed in front of me at just the right moment. There was the time in December of 1980 when I was grabbing music for the college radio station Christmas party and I put "Double Fantasy" back in the rack because it didn't seem right for party music. That right around 10PM on December the 8th when that happened. Then there was the moment I got off the phone with a girl I was dying to tell how I felt about her; I turned on the radio and Elvis started singing, as if on cue, "It's Now or Never".

It happened again today.

As I sat at work; loating my job and dreading the next phone call, when I looked down and had a message glaring at me. On the desk in front of me was a pen I had at home for more than 18 months. I was in a rush this morning and needed a pen with me for a stop at the bank and blindly grabbed at the first one I could find not even looking. This pen had been a freebie handout at work during an office safety promotion. Printed in garish green ink was an insipid safety slogan which I had ignored along with the free pen. Now was my 9th hour on the job bore down on me I looked at this slogan and it took on newer and deeper meaning.

"KNOW YOUR EXIT"

It was if the Dali Lama had just walked up behind me and slapped me upside the head with a simple, universal truth. I have a number of irons in the fire right now to rescue me from my current little corner of Dante's playground and I have some details to work out before I reveal more. Some of these I have already discussed in this blog and one more which remains under wraps but to only a few close friends. Any of these involves a major change in my life and a risk; some more than others.

But as I looked at these three simple words, the risk meant nothing. What I did know is that there is an exit to where I am now, I know where that exit is, I know how to get to the exit, I know how to open the door and, most importantly, I know this is the time to use that exit.

Or, to paraphrase Freud; is a banana sometimes just a banana? We'll see. But I know I'm keeping this pen for good luck.

My pal, Howard, made mention of the book "1,000 Places to See Before You Die" in his blog and it inspired me. (OK, it was a cheap way of coming up with a topic!)

Here is my short list.

1. California - specifically LA and San Francisco

2. Las Vegas

3. Venice - I was there for one day 25 years ago and it wasn't enough.

4. Graceland

5. The Pyramids of Giza

6. Chicago

7. Moscow

8. Mount Rushmore

9. Liverpool - It's the Beatles fan in me!

10. Auschwitz - Because I think it's important to learn from our mistakes

When a good friend of mine recently left my company she said that the job had changed the person she was and that she didn't like who she had become. I finally understand what she meant.

I have lost patience with my customers. I feel dirty when I push these people into orders which are done the company way but I do it anyway because I need the next sale. This is not what the company mentality was when I first joined the company and it certainly is not the person I was when I answered my first phone call. We used to have a VP who said that, "Yes, we are here to make a buck; but we are also here to help these people." Now, it is all about nothing more than the next dollar. I've fallen into it and I don't like myself for it.

While I am trying to get into a non-sales position within the company I am also looking outside. This includes one really cool self-employment possibility which is still in the planning stages; more on that in the future....I hope.

I wake up ready and raring to go each morning. However, the moment I pull into the parking lot all energy leaves my body and all I want to do is to turn around and climb back into bed. I sit there for a moment calculating how much sick time I have available. I look around and figure that if I turned the car around now that I could leave and no one would have seen me. Just two years ago I would stay almost every night until 7PM without a second thought.

Will a department change make me feel better? Will a different job turn things around? Will turning a dream job into a reality actually work or am I just putting together another pipe dream?

Almost anything has got to be an improvement.

OK, I have finally gotten the hint. I am determined to reattack my weight re-gain.

First my friend Dave went in for the same surgery I had three years ago. Talking with him about it reminded me of all I went through. Then I started having problems with my feet. Granted, its a common problem but the weight definitely is a factor and if I hadn't gained back some weight, it probably wouldn't have happened. Then I saw some recent photos of myself and I started having flashbacks.

Two years ago, when I was at my lowest post surgery weight loss, I took pride on the fact that I kept on adding holes to my belt as it shrunk. I am now back from that point by 8 inches. I have gained back 80 pounds. Granted, I am still hundreds below where I was but my own words, "I can't understand how someone could go through all of this and backslide" are coming back to haunt me.

I am now determined. I have a goal of getting back to where I was within a year; less if I try hard. It became easier, as my stomach healed, to add back into my diet those foods which put my on that operating table in the first place; bread, pasta, pizza.... I have just thrown out the two boxes of pasta in my pantry and am sharing my last half loaf of bread with the seagulls. I am dusting off my old post-surgery workbook and will dive back into the same foods, diets and exercise that had me dropping pounds each week. My own surgeon had said that if this ever happens that the fastest way of getting back on track is to go back to basics. My stomach and body have proved that they can adapt to it and the results are already proven.

By my trip to the Starfleet International Conference in August I plan on wearing a new uniform, be close to halfway to my goal and have no one in Denver greet me as "Hey, Big Guy!"

Just how comfortable is the back seat of a convertible? After a 10 hour road trip....I'm not the one to ask if you're looking for a favorable answer!

This past weekend was the annual Region 2 Summit in Columbus, GA. My friends Jim, Cheryl and I piled in his car and drove up there. This was my first Summit as Regional Coordinator and I'm not sure if I'll ever catch up on the sleep I missed over the weekend!

The ride up was nice and, as always, spending it with friend makes it worth while. We all have the same twisted senses of humor, so each mile was joke after joke after joke. I got a kick out of noticing that we were driving along "Jefferson Davis Memorial Highway" somewhere in Georgia. Apparently, someone forgot to tell some people exactly how that little skirmish 140 years ago ended up.

The Summit is technically the Regional "working weekend", but once that small part of the weekend is over we have fun! There were Texas Hold 'Em games, a Dalmuti Tournament, panel discussions on fandom, online gaming and even Klingon self defense. It is the chance of the chapters in Florida, Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi to get together and it is a great reunion each time. Sunday night is our awards banquet where we get to recognize members and chapters who stand out. We also raised $500 for a local animal rescue league.

This was my first Summit as Regional coordinator and the six words I heard most all weekend were, "Jack, do you have a few minuets?" I was pulled aside to discuss chapter issues, personal conflict problems, teaching people hos to use the Starfleet database, getting one piece of paperwork or another pushed through and political twists of one kind or another. There were three former RC's there this weekend who would only look at me and laugh all weekend long knowing that every moment of the weekend was theirs for a change.

The hotel staff was out of this world! I have been in scores of hotels all around the world and this was the first time I have ever felt so welcomed by a staff; and I mean ALL the staff. There was not one member of the housekeeping staff that didn't greet me with a warm and friendly "hello" of one kind or another. When most time you either get a grunted hello or they don't even look you in the eye, it was refreshing to be treated as if each member of the staff was genuinely happy to have me there as a guest in the hotel. The banquet staff took care of a problem quickly and quietly. The desk staff remembered names and then there was Anna.

Anna was this little ole German lady who is a server in the restaurant. She has worked at the hotel longer than anyone and looks to be somewhere between 70 and 240 years old. At 4 foot nothing she scurries around the dining room filling glasses and bringing clean silverwear with a smile and her soft, gentle grandmotherly voice, "Sure, honey. I'll get that for you right away" in her clipped accent. She looked down at my bear feet slippers and said that "they look sexy!" How can you not love a woman like that!

After a Dead Dog Party at a nearby Chinese Buffet we headed out around 2PM which didn't get me home until almost midnight. Of course, I HAD TO watch the current Battlestar Galactica episode and got myself up for work the next morning. That lasted until about 11:30 when the fatigue turned my voice into a deep growl and my eyes threatened to permanently stay shut. I went home and slept for another 6 hours.

I can hardly wait for next year!

I finally gave up on "24" this week. This season's storyline just kept going from dumb to dumber. It has been a gigantic fall from the fantastic job they did last season. And this season had so much going for it. Peter MacNichol, Chad Lowe, Alexander Siddig, Powers Boothe and James Cromwell joined the cast. It looked as if it was going to be another great season with THE MAN, Manny Coto, still on the job as one of the Executive Producers.

I can forgive alot with "24". I mean, heck, I'm a Bond fan, so suspension of disbelief is a given with these stories. But, c'mon!

An assassination attempt on the President in the bunker beneath the White House?! Jack breaking into his second foreign embassy in a row and then cutting off the finger of the ambassador?!!!!!!! White House staff members in fist fights in a steam closet?!

Dumb...dumb...dumb. There are plenty of other good shows on Monday night. "Heroes", "2 and 1/2 Men" and now, "The Black Donelley's".

Good bye, Jack Bauer; it was fun while it lasted.

I am going through some major parental withdrawal. As John gets older he has more to do; school, ROTC and now a job. I understand the importance of these and how it is building his independence and maturity. If I were a "full time parent" I could probably deal with this a little better. However, it has now been almost a month since John and I had even a day together.

We were supposed to spend the day together, a compromise to his work schedule, when yet another obligation came along. I have been trying my best to give him his space but am always chomping back the words that I should be on his list of obligations as well. I grew up in a family where I lived at home until I was 26, I don't know how this separated parent thing is supposed to work at this point. I want him to be his own person but I also want him to spend as much time with me as possible. Being separated is bad enough but the 90 mile distance makes it tougher.

The ironic side to this is, back when we were a family, when Jim went to his first day of school we went as a group to see him off on his first bus ride. My ex was holding Johnny in her arms as Jim climbed on to the bus; his little legs lifting up high and hard to make that first step. We stood there is the cool September wind for a moment and I turned to head back to the house but my ex just stood there...crying.

"In 18 years you'll be crying to get him out of the house!"

Now, as John approaches that age, the tables have turned and I am the one missing him before he's gone. I seems to be going through empty nest syndrome and I already have the empty nest.

Worst televised Oscars ever!

Ellen DeGeneris SUCKED. I don't think I laughed once at her. However, the entire time Jerry Seinfeld was on I couldn't stop laughing. What happened to John Stewart? He is quite possibly the best Oscars host since Carson.

I was so bored all through this entire show. And what was with these long walkouts where they followed some of the presenters from halfway backstange through these long drawn out enterances.

YAWN!

The shadow playing dance troupe.

YAWN!

The flashy graphics during the lists of nominees.

YAWN!

Michael Mann's montage of American history through film images.

YAWN!

Ellen Degeneris.

YAWN! YAWN! YAWN! YAWN! YAWN!

Hooray for Jennifer Hudson (Bite THAT Simon Cowell!) and Forrest Whitaker.

I'm glad Marty Scorsese got his Oscar, and it was perfect being presented to him by his friends, but the film itself was nowhere as good as "Little Miss Sunshine".

I skipped watching Galactica for THIS?!

I finally called George Takei's manager out in Hollywood about breaking into the business and possibly representing me. Brad was very kind, honest and did offer to forward my name to George's agent. He didn't sound all to hopeful, but it was, at least, the first door I knocked on "in the business".

As usual, with anything in my life, it did have that one moment which defines it as being part of my life. First, you have to remember that Brad is not only George's manager but he is also his partner.

So....as we're talking Brad mentions that George is coming to Florida to attend a graduation at The Dave School. This was the school for which I did my first paid voice acting "gig". I told Brad how George didn't know about my gastric bypass surgery and that the last time he had sen me he was berating me about my massive weight.

Well, that's not exactly how I said it. What I said to Brad was that "the last time I saw George he was all over my ass about my weight!"

Another stellar moment in Towaway history!

Used to be a time when someone's leaving my company was a sad thing. Our department head would call everyone together and announce that so-and-so had found something better for themselves and had decided to leave the company. There would be cake, gifts, hugs and tears.

Now it's a matter of looking around the office and wondering where so-and-so has been and not knowing if the person still worked for the company or not. For the most part a person either simply leaves or is escorted out by security with not so much as a goodbye handshake. In those rare instances when a person's departure is know ahead of time the only acknowledgment from management is that the paperwork has been processed.

My department manager just gave her 2 weeks notice. She and I have known each other almost since the day she started. Our working relationship and friendship has been through some ups and down over the years but has ended in such a good place that I was the first person she told; even before turning in her letter of resignation. I shared laughs, tears and a Thanksgiving day meal with her family. She is good people and the job was turning her away from who she really is. Luckily, she saw it in time and is moving on to something better for herself.

She will be missed; and not just by me. One of my coworkers came up to me and said, "What are we going to do after she's gone? She was, like, our buffer to the rest of them."

I will miss her. We have grown to be able to read each others thoughts. We can communicate with just a look. At times one or the other will stop the other from saying something a little outside the realm of appropriate. OK...so maybe she stops me more than I stop her....but you get the point.

There was a time when our friendship was on the rocks. It was entwined with a whole debacle of a mess at work. As part of a bunch of trumped up charges against me was the allegation that I said some very derogatory things about her in the open on the sales floor. As soon as those angry words were thrown at me all other parts of the charges against me fell to the wayside. I could take being raked over the coals about job performance and breaking the rules but for it to be said that I talked about my friend in such a demeaning way; and even worse, that she believed it, tore at me deeply. I could stand being a bad employee but to think that a friend thought I would betray her tore my heart out. I didn't give a damn about the rest of the charges. I looked at her straight in the eye and screamed at her in a tear choked voice, "Tell me you really believe I would say that about you!" She didn't say anything. And for almost two years we didn't talk.

Somehow, through my unstoppable belief in the basic goodness of people and lots of time we slowly started talking again. We open up to each other again. We laughed again. We were friends again. At one point, a few months ago, we did say out loud to each other that the hatchet was buried between us over that ugliness of the past. I had a thought in my mind of asking her how it went down for real behind the scenes. That was before she announced that she's leaving. The reality of it is setting in and I no longer care about the past.

My friend is leaving and all that other crap is meaningless. If you've read this blog with regularity, you know how I am with this kind of change. Yes, she is one of the ones I'm going to try to hang onto.

She's worth it.

I have been tasked by my good friend, Jim, to finally write again. At times there has been nothing happening and at other times there has been to much to have the time to post. Since it was Jim who pushed me to write then let me write about his son, Noah.

Noah just turned nine over the weekend. He was born with Spina Bifida and autism. He was not supposed to live out of infancy. His parents were told he wouldn't develop much. Those doctors were idiots. While Noah does live in the enclosed world of autism he is anything but under developed. While he has never talked like a "normal" child he communicates. He understands every word said to him and speaks to us that know him leaving no questions what he is saying. He has a personality and loves to laugh. Every time I see him there is something new that he does which amazes me and puts me on the verge of crying.

When we were at Kennedy Space Center two weeks ago we were together for breakfast when his mother asked him to point out people in the room.

"Where is Daddy?" Noah pointed directly at his father.

"Where is Cheryl?" He pointed at Cheryl and made a sound which came close to mimicking the name.

"Where is Jack?"

Noah slapped his hand on my arm and said loudly, "Jack!"

I flashed back to the first moment my own son looked up at me and said, "Daddy". Noah, even though looking away at the other side of the room as if he were completely disinterested in everyone at the table clearly identified me and knew me by name.

I have told his parents many times that as his speech skills improve we have to teach him to say "Bite Me!" Once he has that mastered we will take him back to the doctors who said he wouldn't live so he can say those two words to those most deserving of them.

This past weekend we were at a cookout. Just before leaving Noah had planted himself in front of my car and was studying my House of Blues license plate. I leaned down and pointed out to him Jake and Elwood. I did this only once but he repeated back each name and pointed at them correctly.

"Noah, which one is Elwood?" I asked him in reverse order to hos I had taught him. He picked correctly.

"Where is Jake?" Again; dead on.

I thought about teaching him those two magic words but thought better of it. There's time for that later.

As a final testament of how much a normal kid he really is; the little stinker beat me by 8 pins at bowling. Yes, I was beat in bowling by a 9 year old child with autism. At least he didn't come over after the game with a score sheet to rub it in. Getting beat by a 9 year old autistic child is bad enough; having him trash talk you afterwards would just not be right.

We have to save that for the doctors.

My little boy is no longer.

Saturday morning I got up bright and early to attend a practice competition between his Jr. ROTC drill team and others in the Broward area.



He is the last one on the right.

As I watched him marching around the field in his green uniform I squinted to try and see the child I had seen grow up. I looked for the little toddler I would headbutt. I tried to see the youngster who I would spend hours with inventing superheroes. I waited as he turned back to march towards me to see if he still looked like the pre-teen who went from listening to boy bands to hip hop to the Beatles.

Not a sign of him.

Instead I saw a man. A tall, handsome and confidant man. I watched him as he took initiate and command with those around him; making sure things were being done and done correctly. He joked with the other guys on the team like a man. (Yes, the others on the team were just "guys"...John was a MAN) He spoke like a man, He carried himself like a man.



Then there was that one moment of parental redemption I will hold onto tightly for as long as I can.

His platoon sergeant came by with last minuet suggestions before they entered the parade route; apparently they look for everything during these things. I was laying back and trying not to impose myself on what he was doing but as I looked him over I spotted something.

"John," I whisper/yelled "Straighten your gig line!" He quickly got his shirt, pants and belt in perfect line. When he was done he looked up at me for approval. In his eyes was tat same anticipation and search for approval I got when he was a little boy making sure his shoes were tied correctly solo for the first time. Instantly, he was that little boy again.....until he snapped to attention and the man walked out onto the parade field.