Thursday, July 23, 2009

Julie bonded out of jail. I'm not sure how but she called late Tuesday night after she got out. Yes! She actually had the nerve to call. My phone was turned down so I didn't hear the call come in just a voice mail message. I do want to talk to her; it won't be the most pleasant conversation of m,y life, but I do want to eventually talk to her.

I had the opportunity Monday evening to take the girls out to get something to eat. They are not living under the best of conditions right now; they are staying with their paternal grandmother in a house with no running water and no electricity. The Department for Children and Families has been called in and has interviewed the whole family and are working on a resolution.

After we got dinner we made a run through Wally World to get some much needed supplies before returning to their grandmother's. Before I left I had a discussion with the 7 year old, Nicky. She told me how, on the night when I last loaned money to her mother that they left where we were and what her mother actually did with the money.

You have to picture this adorable 7 year old girl standing there telling me this; she was so embarrassed and mortified by her mother that she couldn't actually say the words but had to spell it out, "She went to buy P-I-L-L-S".

I can understand a person having a habit. I am slapping myself in the head for seeing but not acknowledging some of the signs. What I do not forgive is her using her children as she has. I've seen all the shows on TV about addicts and the lengths they go to but it pales in comparison to being a part of that person's life and realizing how you had been used.

So, in honor of that self realization I offer this tribute.

1 comment:

Red said...

What are you going to accomplish by seeing her. Pick open a scabbed wound. I thnk you will do more damage by staying away.

The fact that you will even go to see her, let's her know she is 'still' the one in control. She got you to go see her, or at least think about it...didn't she?

Cut ties and walk away the winner and with your dignity. She is who and what she is and is in a cycle that may not be able to be broken and you cannot fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed.