Here is my new ride. It ain't pimped out. It ain't no Bluesmobile or Shuttlecraft....BUT IT RUNS!!!!!!!!!



A 1989 Pontiac Bonneville. I'm told "her" name is Bessie but now that "she's" my car we'll have to see if the personality develops.

On drinving the car for the first time I did honor a long time tradition I follow with all my cars....I threw the cigarette lighter out the window.

If you don't get the reference, watch the first ten minuets of "The Blues Brothers".

He looks so good.

He was such a nice guy.

I didn't even know he was sick.

These are all of the usual things you hear at a funeral. You can begin practicing saying all of these things about me because I am, apparently, dead.

I called my answering machine today to check messages when I got the following:

"I am calling in reference to the estate of the LATE JOHN EATON......."

Needless to say, I was taken aback by the news. I was immediately reminded of the MASH episode when Hawkeye is mistaken for dead. My situation , however, is nothing as drastic. This is simply a ploy by a bill collector to get me to call. I am supposed to become all upset and worried calling the number left on my machine to correct the error. The conversation would the go:

"Well, if you're not dead, Mr. Eaton, you can send us the money you owe us."

Needless to say, I have not called them back. However, I am planning a quite lavish wake. What the hell, I might as well enjoy this one.

Proof of how important genetics is, a recent phone conversation between my son and me.

John; Hello.

Jack: Hi, how are you?

John: OK.

Jack: Guess what.

John: What?

Jack: I beat ya'!

John: What the heck are you talking about, Dad?

Jack: I got a girlfriend before you did!

Silence for two seconds

John: Bite me!

Most parents would be upset and offended of their child spoke back to them in such a manner. Not me....this was yet another fine moment in Eaton Family History!

It is now official.

I have a girlfriend.

Things have continued to go well over the past few weeks with Stephany. However, through all of it I was haunted by a slight sense of insecurity. There were what I interpreted as mixed messages and occasional moments where I felt that she was going out of her way to make things difficult for us to be together. But through all of it she continued to send positive feedback to me on how things were going and would say things which made it feel more and more that we were in a relationship. I finally decided that the cards had to be laid on the table. Many of our conversations because there were things I wanted to say to her but did not feel right without some declaration of what kind of a relationship we actually had.

The evening started out with plans for dinner. As usual, these plans were interrupted and changed at the last moment due to family concerns. I fought my insecurities I'd been battling for the past few weeks but this time won them over as we did finally end up with time alone.

Under a starlit night we walked down a fishing pier and talked. Well, I did the talking. I stuttered and stammered through what I had been practicing for days. I had even brought notes and even had to refer to them from time to time. I wondered if it was cute and endearing or pathetic. Well, when I finally got to the bottom line it seemed as if I had steered away from pathetic as Stephany agreed with what I was saying. She said she also felt things had been going well with us.

Then silence. There seemed to be words I was still looking to hear. I decided to go with cute and endearing again.

"So...?" I asked as I leaned against her shoulder and in a bad impression of Goofy said, "Can I be yer boyfriend?"

She laughed first and said, "Yes."

SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!

If I could freeze that moment and hold it I would. My heart seemed to stop. The world seemed to halt its rotation. All there was in the universe at that moment were Stephany and me on that pier.

I have been accused by many for falling into relationships fast so I am not going to admit to that in this case or give into any far flung hopes for this relationship now that it is official. All I will admit to is what I promised Stephany; to be something I might not have been in the past, a better partner. To make her happy and to make her proud. We'll take it one step at a time.

These first steps do feel pretty good so far.

Most of the day today I must seem to be distracted to anyone who sees me. That is because I have a little movie playing in my head which is replaying the date Stephany and I went on last night. It was the first time we were on a date by ourselves. We've spent countless hours on the phone and did get out last weekend, but this was just us.

Perfect.

We went to a restaurant down by the waterfront. We were seating on the covered deck where we could see the lights of the causeway reflecting on the intercoastal waterway. It might not sound postcard perfect but the setting, the sounds of the water and the light ocean breeze added to the whole affect.

The place was crowded and a steel drum band kept played outside. Of course, I didn't notice it much as all I could see in the entire restaurant was her. I don't know if I was trying to be cute or just stupid with anxiety, but I used a reference to an earlier conversation as a way of asking to hold her hand. When her hand touched mine the size of the universe seemed to get even smaller. She commented on how soft me hand was. I kept the conversation going even though I was still in shock that I was the person sitting there holding her hand.

After dinner we took a walk on the beach holding hands. Nothing else I could think of felt so right. We talked and laughed the whole time I was burning every second of the evening into my brain. The way the breeze lifted her hair and how the moonlight shaded her face.

After being driven off by sand fleas we came back to my place for a little while. I showed her some old photos of me and some of Johnny's baby pictures. You may roll your eyes at this but after she left I called her and talked to her while she drove back to her apartment. She has a slight anxiety problem with driving at night. Well, that and it allows me to be the geeky boyfriend spending more countless hours on the phone with her. We have NEVER had one of those "You hang up first" moments so it's not as bad as you might first think.

I still find it amazing that I'm even in this position. Every once in a while during the evening I would look around to make sure Ashton Kutcher was just about to come around a corner telling me I'd been Punk'd. I had to keep making reality checks to be sure I wasn't imagining things.

So far, no Ashton; but I've stopped watching "That 70's Show" just in case.

OK, let's get some of the humor out of the way; here is a sampling of some of the better jokes which have gone around about Stephany and me.

My friend, Patrick, left the following note on my desk:
I just wanted to let you know that an Amber Alert had been issued for your department.

I was on the phone with my friend Sandy who, after laughing at the situation got very serious and began offering some honest encouragement....well, at first anyway, she put a new spin on an old joke:
"Jack, It is nice that you have a young girl like her that is interested. We all want you to be happy. I hope this works out for you....I just hope you don;t forget where you put her."

Even I have gotten into the act pointing out that being in a relationship with me should be nothing new for Stephany because her last job was at an Assisted Living Home.

The best, by far, was my "good friend" Lisa. I started telling her how Steph and I had met and that we had met at work and she was always smiling at me. I told her that since it had been a long time that I had been dating I had to remember that smiling was a good sign. To which she answered, "Yeah, but at this age you can't tell is she's really smiling or if it's just gas!"

That's what friends are for!