I've been punk'd!

It doesn't happen very often so when it does it's gotta be a good one. And this was a classic.

First, some background for those of you who don't know the players. I have done a stand up routine in the past three yearly talent shows at my job. This year they had me do a repeat performance at the Christmas party. One of the hottest jokes this year was about one of our VP's. His name is Peter. I have known his since he started with the company 3 years ago or so. He is a sweet guy and has always been open and friendly with me. Peter is a shorter than average guy with short, very curly hair. This has left him open, from me at least, for a leprechaun joke or two over the years. No fear, right to his face. He has got a great sense of humor which he proved in spades today.

The joke in question spoke of how out company is identified by people outside the company by our spokesperson, Wilford Brimley. There was one point in time when Lauren Bacall was considered but didn't work out. I made jokes about Rush Limbaugh and Michael Jackson being turned down as spokespersons for obvious drug related jokes. I then said that the Keebler Elf had been considered...but that Peter already had a job with the company!

And the crowd goes wild!

Peter is such a good sport that he has been referring to himself as the Keebler Elf around the office! Well, now it's bee almost a week since the party and Peter is the last thing on my mind today when one of my supervisors taps me on the shoulder and says that I have to meet with Human Resources in 15 minutes.

This is the call of death in my company. My mind used those 15 minutes to think of every possible scenario of investigation, trouble or even termination of employment which could have been the reason for the meeting. My hear was racing, my palms sweat and my bladder cried to empty.

As I entered the HR office Abby (our department's HR person and grand illusionist in all this setup) led me in with her assistant and the head of security. My head was pounding so much I barely heard Abby say, "Jack, I have some bad news!" Immediately the dollar amount for my rent, John's Christmas wish list and my yearly travel plans zipped through my mind. We got to the desk and there was a large piece of pink paper lying there. Since this office had been damaged in the hurricanes I assumed it was there to protect the desktop. Next to it was a clearly typed, official looking "Termination List" with my name blazing at the top. I plunked down in the seat and waited for the hammer to fall.

"There are some things which we take very seriously here at work," Abby said as she turned over the large pink piece of paper to reveal the world's largest "pink slip"!

Three sheet of paper wide by three which it covered the top of the desk. It read as an Employee Action Report. I was being cited for "Making inappropriate and derogatory stayements about management, specificity Peter, during a company sponsored event in front of other employees". I was further "banned from speaking at all public company events" and would "receive zip at retirement"!!!

I could feel blood vessels popping in my skull as I realized what had happened. Photos were taken; apparently the look on my face was priceless. Abby, while she did go along with it was beside herself that I wasn't going to take it well. As someone who lives to pull of perfect practical jokes, I absolutely loved it. For someone to pull one over on me takes considerable effort and talent.

Of course, I WILL get even!