What is with Caroline Schlossberg these days?

Oh, wait! That’s Caroline KENNEDY. After being married for years and traditionally taking her husband’s name, Caroline has suddenly decided to use her maiden name publicly in case we’ve forgotten who she is.

She has been in the spotlight since she was in diapers. Does she really think we wouldn’t recognize it’s her because her name is different? I’m sure the world was thrown in a tizzy and just couldn’t recall where they’d seen her mother before when she changed her name to Onassis.

On the off chance that Caroline reads this blog;

Caroline, honey, get a reality check! You’re one of those few on this planet who don’t really need to carry a photo ID. If they still had those American Express commercials where the celebrity says, “You may not know me…”, as if the AMEX is the only way they prove who they are, you’d be a perfect choice. OK, so some of the Lawfords and Smith can go through life with anonymity, but not you. If you changed your name to Rosanne we’d still know it’s you. If someone at the publisher of your last book told you the name “Kennedy” would sell more books,; that person is an idiot. If you came out selling a dumpster diving cookbook and put your “real/married” name on it, the damned thing would sell just as much simply because of who you are. I’m sure this was something your mother might have mentioned somewhere along the line.

OK, so I know she probably doesn’t read my blog. A boy can dream can’t he? I’ve had a thing for Caroline since I was a kid. She is on the same list as Olivia Hussey and Haley Mills; those famous girls I had the hots for and then as I grew up found out the were older and very unattainable.

Well, in my mind, they aren’t unattainable….they simply don’t know I’ve been divorced. That’s the ONLY reason my phone isn’t ringing off the hook!

Another famous heartthrob of mine showing less that rocket science brain power lately is Lisa Marie Presley. What the hell was she thinking? OK, she keeps Graceland, but the name “Elvis” is going to keep on making money when my grandchildren are old.

All of these women; Lisa Marie, Caroline, Princess Stephanie, Brooke Sheilds….just to name a few, have had some minor problems in their careers and all that could be ended with one simple phone call to Florida.

Ah, well; their loss!