Saturday, April 24, 2004

It stinks that my recent posts all have to do with death. But, hey, such is life….right?

I have had two more deaths in relative proximity. Both of which, while not “close” to me, have been parts of my life for almost 30 years.

Larry Arnoff was the father of one of my oldest and best friends. I had met Karen in a junior high school science class. She sat directly across a lab table from me. Even though she started off kicking my shins on a regular basis, we have been the closest of friend ever since. I don’t know when I got to meet Larry for the first time but he certainly made an impression. I was a full-on pubescent who had a thing for his daughter. It seemed as if he used his gruff personality to try to scare me away even though he knew, with a insight I can now see at about the same age, that any “romance” at that age wasn’t going to be around very long. Karen and I went beyond that stage and are now as close as any two people can be. Some years later, Larry looked around and I was still there in his daughter’s life. I think he could see what we meant to each other and decided that it was a good thing. Either that or he just resigned himself to it.

As I grew into adulthood I began to feel a genuine warmth and affection from him. That felt good. I could talk and joke with him on an adult level and that increased the respect I had for him.

He was ALWAYS honest. There was a time, before the birth of my son, when I paid some attention to Karen’s new son. When I told Larry my wife was pregnant he replied with something like, “About time you had a damned family of your own and quit hanging around here!”. He said it with a smile but was am honest reminder that I was finally coming into adulthood. I respected him for that, too.

I will miss you, Larry.

The other loss in my life in the last week was Shirley Maiewski. Our paths crossed each other’s around the same time as Larry. She was one of the organizers of the Star Trek Welcommittee; an early form of Trek fan organization. In my early days of being a fan I read all about how fandom had started and all of these who had “blazed the trail”. I met Shirley for the first time at one of the last “original” cons in New York. I was an awe-struck youth, thankful to her for all she had done for fans and loved the fact that here was an adult reveling in the same things I was.

Years later I became a member of, and eventually president of the Boston Star Trek Association. At the time, it was the largest and oldest Trek club. One of the members was Shirley. We had meetings at her house in rural western Massachusetts every August. These trips became one of the highlights of the year. Not only was it a pilgrimage for any Trekker but it was a visit if a great place. Shirley always welcomed all of us with open arms.

Her home is a beautiful, old farmhouse right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. A large barn sits behind the house and the yard is sheltered by a giant elm. Each trip there was a step into another world. She had one room of the house dedicated to Trek. It was loaded from floor to ceiling with books, toys and paperwork. I’ve only seen pictures of Forey Ackerman’s house, but this room looked to be to be a miniature version.

The BSTA took pride in the fact Shirley was one of our members. She brought a sense of continuity to the “past” of fandom. She was also a great person to know. Her smile was one of the biggest I’ve seen outside of the Osmond family and her hugs were enveloping and warm. She was proof again that you meet some of the best people in Trek fandom.

I’ll miss you, too, Shirley.

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