The universe has a sick and twisted sense of humor. Just as I was coming to terms with what has been going on with Julie, just when I thought I had a way of protecting myself emotionally I got sucker punched out of the blue.

A friend of mine called me to his desk where he had photos from the company cookout. He handed me three which included me. One of me alone, one with my friend Clark and then the one that I can't stop looking at.

It is of me and two of Julie's girls; Emily and Nichole. I've got a big smile on my face. Emily has a smile just as big. And then there's Nicki. She is posing just like she always does in front of a camera. She is mugging for the camera with a big, silly, over the top smile.

As if I really needed a reminder.