After years of dating, two marriages and other sorts of relationships you would have thought I would have learned and been able to spot the signs early; and this time I thought I had.

After only a short time as "boyfriend", my relationship has hit a pothole of sorts. I have been dating Julie on and off since last September and, as time went by, we continued to get closer and closer. As you might have seen in a recent post, she decided that we should "take things to the next level" and said she was comfortable with being called me girlfriend. She said a lot of other things that day which made me feel as if things were finally going right.

I knew there were issues with her ex and I brought them up with her that night. I wanted to make sure that neither of us would be going through an emotional roller coaster; again, something I thought I had learned over the years. As I had been throughout this whole "relationship" I was willing to give her the time and space she needed.

The first thing I noticed was the lack of displays of affection. I am a demonstrative person and like to show the person I am with just how much I like them. All we exchanged were hugs. If I made the first move, we would occasionally hold hands. My Spidey Sense was tingling that something was up.

Yesterday we had gone out driving around to yard sales and something else happened which slapped me right in the face. As we nosed around with Nichole and Ashlyn in tow one of the people running a yard sale asked if I were her brother or boyfriend....and she hesitated, paused and stuttered before answering that we were "dating". The fact that she hesitated in front of a total stranger was significant.

Today, Julie, her kids and father, came over to swim and have a meal. Before she left I broached the subject. She admitted that there were some unresolved emotions over her ex. I have never gone into the details of that relationship suffice to say he's an asshole who abused her and has passing interest in being a father. He had been a part of her life, for better or worse, for the past 10 years; so, breaking that tie has been harder than she figured. We didn't have much time to talk and our conversation was continually interrupted by the girls.

She has promised that we will talk more but my Spidey Sense continues to tingle.