If you were betting I wasn't even going to get a phone call tonight, you would have lost. At almost 11PM Julie, at least, called me. While giving some excuses for not getting together as planned this time I could hear in her voice how important it was to her that we talked.

Some have asked why I still want to talk. "She clearly knows how you feel about here so it would be up to her to decide where she wants the relationship to go."

Yes, but I still am in the dark about how she feels, what she is thinking and how her mind changed. I also want to remind her of what we have had and what I have to offer for the relationship. And yes, make stark comparisons to her ex. I have avoided it in the past becuase that is a mistake I had made before but it seems necessary at this point when I get the feeling she wants him back in her life in a major way. Again, not knowing completely, I am shooting in the dark.

I did, in no uncertain terms, let her know that I was left out her hanging emotionally and how strongly I felt we had to talk about this. Maybe my friend was right, maybe I am being "too nice" and that she has to see how important this relationship is to me and that I am willing to fight for it.

Before you go getting all worried about me, for those of you who know me, I have set limits on this and have come to the bottom line conclusion that I have done all I can, been patient and understanding and if it does fall apart the blame is on her end. To be so cold and calculating about seems unfair but I feel I have to in order to protect myself emotionally or else I'll be the sad, moping, depressed slouch I have after some other breakups.

I guess I also feel I have to plead my case for the relationship so that, if it does fail, I will have the peace of mind that I did all I could right to the end. Am I hoping it goes, differently? Of course. In a perfect world, I hear her side....present my case and give her the opportunity to have interaction with her ex and give him a chance to be the a-hole we all know he is and then have a pretty clear cut choice.

But, this ain't a perfect world and I have to ready.

Apparently, I have learned something over the years.