I am such a schmuck. I feel as if I broke my son's heart this weekend.

My van has some major repairs pending for which I have to save. In the mean time, I am filling the radiator each time I start the engine and my trips are no more than 10 miles at a time. Just my history with vehicles. The pisser about this is that when I had the van in the garage earlier last week with what I thought was the cause of the problem I felt all kinds of proud of myself that I was hit with a multi-hundred dollar bill and was able to pay it without thinking. However, the first problem was only a symptom of a larger problem which was discovered two days after I got it home. Now, my budget is completely screwed and I can't have the rest of the repairs done for another week or so.

The end result was that I couldn't work out transportation for getting Johnny here for his weekend. He sounded honestly disappointed over the phone. I had broken the news to him at work, so we couldn't tale in detail. When I got home we talked more and he was even willing to brave Tri-Rail to get here. For out of state readers, Tri-Rail is the commuter rail service which goes from West Palm Beach to Miami. Johnny and I have taken one trip back and forth together and I've been hounding him to go solo for some time now. The ride back and forth to his mother's ends up as a 4 hour chunk of time which could be cut almost in half; not to mention saving wear and tear on the van and the cost of gasoline. He even offered to get up early Saturday morning to take the trip, which for him includes a bus ride from his house to the train. He had forgotten, though, that it's still 45 minutes from my house to the West Palm station where the train stops.

This would be such a good time for me to win lotto!

Not that I'm happy that he's disappointed about not coming but the fact that he would have such a strong reaction to plans being cancelled proves how strong our relationship is getting. There have been times that the ex has made comments questioning his motives for coming for his visits and voicing doubts about the relationship he and I have. This proves how wrong she has been. That feels good.