What ever happened to the little toddler with the surfer curls who head butted his daddy?

Last night my little boy had his first big dance. John attended the homecoming dance here at the school where his girlfriend goes. Like always, it was a time of flashbacks for me. As he was standing in the kitchen waiting for Kaitlyn to appear I realized I never had this ordeal his mother and I were putting him through. He look dapper and handsome in his new black suit. Not only was there the nervousness of waiting for his date to show up but he got to go through this in front of his own parents and hers.

I have known Kaitlyn for about 4 years but still was struck by how beautiful she looked in her black and white gown. This may not be the romance of the century, they may or may not spend the rest of their lives together or even know each other ten years from now but standing there they made the perfect couple.

I sill cannot get over how he asked her out "officially. He did it by email! I know this is the 21st century and since they live 90 miles apart that is the bulk of their relationship; still when he told me my response was, "You IDIOT!".

Of course, I said that with all parental love and support.

His response was pure Eaton, "Oh, yeah, I'm going to take relationship advise from you?"

"Just remember, my son, that I've talked two women into agreeing to marry me."

"Oh." At least it shut him up.

I didn't get the chance to say anything to my ex even though I kinda felt the desire to. She and I have gotten better at talking with each other on a level close to long before we were married. This was a life moment and I wanted to reach out to her on a personal level. At least we were there for it together. That felt good.

My memory went back to my first date. Tracy was her name; a slender brunette with large beautiful eyes. While my father drove us to and from the dance there was none of the photo taking ritual my own son went through. My most vivid memory of the evening was dropping her off at the end of the evening. My father almost had to push me out of the car to walk her to her door. It seemed as if the door was 50 miles from the curb. I only kissed her on the cheek but 29 years alter I can still remember how soft the cheek felt. My father may have talked to me on the ride home but I don't seem to remember much after the kiss.

I picked John and Kaitlyn up after the dance and tired to arrange things so they could have some more time together; neither of them got the hint. I offered to drop John first since it gave them a longer ride together than just dropping Kaitlyn off just down the road from the school.

"Whatever," was the response I got.

On two separate attempts I asked if they would want to get something to eat at a sitdown restaurant.

"I'm really only thirsty," .

These kids do not have the grasp of subtlety yet but I tried.

I didn't see if John got a good night kiss or not. I don't remember if my father tried to watch from the curb and I tried not to look either. They seemed as if they had a good time and that's the important part.

I look at him now and see the man he's growing into. Each milestone like this is a touchstone to my past and also a reminder of how much I miss my father. My father died when I was 16 so the coming years are going to be uncharted territory for me. I won't be able to look back and compare my actions to his as John grows older. I'm just glad John will when he has a son of his own