I am going through some major parental withdrawal. As John gets older he has more to do; school, ROTC and now a job. I understand the importance of these and how it is building his independence and maturity. If I were a "full time parent" I could probably deal with this a little better. However, it has now been almost a month since John and I had even a day together.

We were supposed to spend the day together, a compromise to his work schedule, when yet another obligation came along. I have been trying my best to give him his space but am always chomping back the words that I should be on his list of obligations as well. I grew up in a family where I lived at home until I was 26, I don't know how this separated parent thing is supposed to work at this point. I want him to be his own person but I also want him to spend as much time with me as possible. Being separated is bad enough but the 90 mile distance makes it tougher.

The ironic side to this is, back when we were a family, when Jim went to his first day of school we went as a group to see him off on his first bus ride. My ex was holding Johnny in her arms as Jim climbed on to the bus; his little legs lifting up high and hard to make that first step. We stood there is the cool September wind for a moment and I turned to head back to the house but my ex just stood there...crying.

"In 18 years you'll be crying to get him out of the house!"

Now, as John approaches that age, the tables have turned and I am the one missing him before he's gone. I seems to be going through empty nest syndrome and I already have the empty nest.