I actually went an entire day at work without having the nagging temptation to throttle anyone. I'd call that an improvement.

Since I have vented enough on that subject let me get into the other one which has many of my friends shaking their heads at me....women. OK, maybe one in particular.

Right now we are just friends. Yes, I hang out a lot with her. Yes, I helped her move. I got her to the clinic the other day when her supervisor pleaded with her to go. But that is all there is right now and I understand that. I happen to like hanging out with her. I am not expecting or waiting for anything more. Do I sit at home wringing my hands hoping for some epiphany in her that will bring her running back to me? No. Am I pining away like some sad character from a Jane Austen novel? No.

For that matter, there's even someone else in whom I'm interested. We seem on the same wavelength and share much more in common than Stephany and me. However, and just my luck, she's in a relationship. That's fine. I'm not going to stick my nose in where it ain't wanted. But at the same moment, I have made myself a good friend and that's just fine.

Would I want either of them to suddenly come to a realization I might be just the right thing for her? Hell, yes. But right now, that doesn't seem to be next on the list of things that are going to happen.

And that's OK. I am in no different a situation that I was a few months ago. I am secure in myself and happy spending time with the best companion I know of.....me!

Another 24 hours have gone by and again I left work frustrated and angry. This is so not right.

Most of the day went ok until just during the last hour. I had an order I was working on and the insurance just wasn't working out right. There was something wrong somewhere in the file so I went to someone I knew in that department I knew could get it fixed and get the order out the door.

Gee, I thought that was my job...getting orders out the door. Apparently, some of management doesn't see things quite that way. I was working on this problem with my co-worker when a member of management walked by. I got the answer to my problem and went directly back to my desk to enter the order correctly to get it out the door. I was not in my seat 20 seconds when my supervisor came by to ask why I was out of my seat.

I think I scared her with my reaction.

I have been divorced twice and I have never been so pissed off. I was doing my stinking job and I get chewed out. It's a shame these managers don't have better things to do with their time.

I was once in a McDonald's when, in front of a crowd of customers lined up at the registers, a manager loudly berated a kid for getting his jacket before clocking out. The jacket was hanging 10 feet from the clock and the manager tore into this kid for using company time to get his jacket. The manager told him that putting his jacket on was his time and not company time. Since then, I have referred to all small minded . clock watching, paperclip counting, eaves dropping, tin plated dictators with delusions of god-hood as "McManagers".

My company seems to be getting overrun with McManagers.

It's just a job. It's just a fucking job!

That's what I kept repeating as I stood in front of my supervisor with tears of frustration in my eyes. I still cannot get over the reaction I had to something so seemingly small this evening at work.

I have been with the same company for 9 years as of next month. That's a commitment. That's the point where it goes from being just a job to being a part of your life. While it may be mundane at times, stressful at times and ridiculous at times...it has still be a part of my life for the past 9 years. I have seen the company grow from a few hundred people to over 2,000 employees. Just the other night was our 4th talent show and, rather modestly, I am part of the culture of the company as well. I have made friends in this company. I have lost friends in this company. I have seen people come and go on good terms, bad terms and those who have left the planet completely. Weddings, births, deaths, parties, arguments....everything all bundled within the confines of the overpainted walls and cubicles of my company.

Through it all, I have always enjoyed going to work. I have liked 99.9% of those with whom I have worked. I have put up with complaining customers, long hours, and stupid company policies because it has always been a good place to work and a place that was always there for its employees.

Over the past couple of years, through a few different changes of management, there was a call from upper management to support a more employee friendly place. A place which embraced some of the more progressive employee relation theories and make it the "employer of choice".

That has all been taking a crashing nosedive in recent months all culminated with one sentence from a supervisor to me just hours ago. I was told the employees were being watched for personal emails. It made me snap. I was supposed to stay a few hours of extra overtime to help with an special project but decided I did not want to give up an hour of my life to a company with narrow minds in leadership.

I grew up watching my mother work in a variety of jobs. She always made those around her a part of her life. She was able to perform the duties of her job above the level of excellence and also do work for numerous outside projects. She showed me that you can do you job and have a life at the same time.

For a while it seemed as if my company was heading in that direction. That has changed. The worst part of it all is that in training classes the progressive philosophies are still be preached but the reality on the floor is a completely different thing. The frustration is getting worse.

My supervisor said the reason I was having such an emotional response was because I care. She is right. I care about my job. I care about the company. I care about the people with whom I spend 40+ hours every week. My company should be and could be the employer of choice. But when that potential is being hacked away at from the inside it could make anyone cry.

Last night Comedy Central aired the roast of William Shatner and I don't think I have stopped laughing. I will not give away any of the jokes, save for the most perfect joke of the evening. Well, perfect for Trek fans any way. Why no one else thought of this before is amazing. I am kicking myself for not thinking of it myself.

To George Takei: George, when you came out of the closet did the doors make that whoosh sound?

Simple. Perfect. Obvious......to us geeks. Classic!

I am dying to talk to George. I have know for years that he has a superb sense of humor and he was just rocking last night. I have my own joke about his coming out that I have been waiting to clear with him before I start using it "openly". I have hesitated out of respect for him and our friendship. I wasn't sure how he would take it. After last night's roast....my joke comes off as tame.

The only disappointment in the evening was that Jimmy Doohan was not there to rip Shatner a huge one! Jimmy had been bashing Shatner on the convention circuit 25 years ago and was hilarious. If he had been able to be there and be as rowdy and bawdy as the others were....it would have made the evening.

Another Talent Show over and done with and it was great as usual. This year I was the emcee which made it a whole different experience for me. The cumulative effect is that performing is something I should be doing rather than being cramped into a cubicle. Odd thing is, that its being cramped in a cubicle that opened the door for me to try doing standup like this.

We had a smaller cast than previous years but as usual every one stepped up tot he plate and whit a live audience there to feed on everyone gave their best possible performances.

Instead of my just having a 5 - 7 set I had a small set to open the show and then peppered the rest of the evening with little jokes and one liners. Given my history of telling jokes about the company no one else has the gonads to say outloud I opened the show with an bit of a Billy Crystal rip-off. Our company President came out and welcomed everyone and then announced that I would be the emcee but that the management had some restrictions on me. At that point I was rolled out on a hand truck a la the "Silence of the Lambs" opening Billy did at the Oscars one year. I was wearing my psych ward t-shirt and had a Hannibal Lechter mask on. It got a huge laugh. Our company President loved playing along with the bit.

John is here this weekend, so he finally got to see him father perform on stage. He seemed to like it. Although he may have been slightly distracted as he has spent lots of time this weekend with my friend's daughter, Kaitlyn. She is his age and they have met before. Their first few meetings were not filled with much conversation at all. This weekend has been different. They had made plans over the last few days and are still making plans to squeeze in more time together before he goes home.

It is an interesting feeling watching my son being all smooth around a girl. Pride is the most overwhelming of the feelings. To see him putting on his best game and a girl looking back at him enjoying the game he's putting on.

"Yessir! That's MY boy!"

I have come to another dry spell in my blogging. Actually, it seems to be a part of a whole general mood I am in lately. Work is tough lately. Income from work is down even more. The household budget is tighter. My stepson Jim was here for a week and left a virus in the PC behind and has left his own home for a few days ...I could write a whole series on what he had been through lately. I have pulled back a little from Stephany after a week of falling back into old habits.

It's been an interesting couple of weeks.

I am going to try to catch you up on each piece of the puzzle in the next few posts. All of it has settled on me in something of a funk. Not a full blown depression but just a basic mood where I go through the motions most days. I get stuff done and do have fun most of the time but if I had my druthers, I'd just lounge around the house all day if I could.

Any my blogging suffers because of it. I don't feel like writing. And if I do I have usually put it off till last thing of the day and by the time I sit down at the PC it time for bed.

Speaking of which, I do have the company talent show tomorrow and I am the Emcee this year. I will have that to post about anyway. So keep checking in, I promise to get back in the swing of things really soon.

Give Mel Gibson a break.

He was drunk off his ass and blathering like a fool. I have had nights like that where I have been drunk off my ass and blathering like a fool. There were many occasions when I would have to have details of the night repeated to me; complete conversations and hours of time replayed for me because I had completely no recollection of the events. They all seemed as if they happened to someone else because they were not a part of my memory of the evening. I'm sure Mel felt the same way last Friday morning. And I'm sure he said the exact same words I said on those occasions,

"Holy shit! I did what?"

He will continue to be a good actor. He will continue to be a good director. The only difference is now he is someone I would love to hang out with in a bar.

“Humanitarian aid in the U.S. has begun arriving in Lebanon. The U.S. Government sent 10,000 medical kits, 20,000 blankets, $30 million cash and today the people of New Orleans said: ‘They did what?‘”-Jay Leno


Just another thing to ponder if you were stupid enough to have voted for George W in the last election.

John is here for the weekend and we started off tonight with some bonding over music. As he is maturing so is his tastes in music. Now that he has gotten his first guitar and is learning how to play his interests in music have begun to turn to some of the greats in rock music; some of my favorites and this gives us more of a chance to bond. I have seen him through all different tastes in music as he has grown; from boy bands to hip hop and rap.

As part of his education I sat him down to watch part of the 1985 Live Aid concert when Queen took the stage. I'm not sure if it was Queen or Kiss that was my first rock concert but Queen has always been one of my favorites. I saw them two or three times in concert and there was no one else who could take an audience with the control the Freddy Mercury had. And to see him work his magic on the tens of thousands in Wembeley Stadium is still staggering 21 years later. I got chills as I watched Freddy strut across the stage. My eyes welled up as the audience played right along with him at his slightest whim. I remembered the experiences I had of seeing him in concert. And then I got pissed off at him again for dying.

Some of the best talents of our time seemed to have had this fated life. They burned with such intensity that it was almost a certain thing they would never last forever. Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison were the products of their time. James Dean and Ritchie Valens were unfortunate accidents. John Belushi and Chris Farley were victims of their own excesses.

But Freddy had to have known the chances he was taking. I joked with John, seeing Freddy with his slicked back hair and trimmed moustache, that no one was really surprised when the news of his illness was announced. "Oh, yeah...well Freddy's gay". No shock. And I don't know the details of when he learned he was sick but the way it played out was that he had become sick long after the threat of AIDS had surfaced. Everyone was talking about it and it had gone from being a disease about which there was no information to one that could be avoided and dealt with as a part of the gay lifestyle. Freddy had to have known the risks he was taking but he seemed to continue to take them and he ended up paying the ultimate price. It was such a monumental waste of a talented life. And I still get pissed off at Freddy for dying.

At least there is still footage of him like Live Aid. When you can watch a master at work. To see the intensity in his eyes and hear the power of his voice. Just a shame John will never experience it the way I did.

Damn it, Freddy. Why you?

So much has happened in the past week that it is somewhat hard to put into words. First of all let me reassure any of you who know me well enough, that I DO have a handle on this. While I would like things to go a certain way I know they might not and I'm OK with that. I have helped a friend in a time of dire need and that is the bottom line. Friends here and those of you who have posted are shaking heads and wishing they could slap me in the back of mine. But I do have a handle on this.

Stephany was VERY sick and while there were friends and family there to help I helped her through some of the roughest parts. She still has a tough time ahead of her in trying to give up smoking but she seems to have the desire to do so.

Where do she and I stand? That is very much up in the air. We had a long talk the other night and I laid it out plain and simple for her, "This is the boyfriend you could have had!" I told her that I realize that we may have grown closer in the past week but she has many things to work through. When she feels she has a better handle on where she is in her life, we can talk about how I fit into that.

How am I dealing with this? Pretty well, actually. I have put a lot of how I feel about her to the side until she approaches me to talk about it. I am still her friend and will help her as much as I can. But there are things in my life which have been put aside in the past few weeks that I need to attend to and for my own emotional well being I have to keep the deep emotions I have to the side.

Do I want thing to change between us? Would I like her to finally realize the potential I see? Yes. But my life cannot and will not be on hold while that possibility dangles in front of it. I have and will reminded her from time to time with a joke or two. Time will tell.

Is it screwed up? Am I crazy? Should I never have gone to help her? Am I really being honest about my feelings? I ask myself these questions all the time as do those around me.

Again, time will tell.

My baby is 15 years old today.

I called him first thing this morning to wish him a happy birthday and I would swear that his voice is deeper than it was two days ago when I talked with him last. I know it's just my imagination playing tricks on me but just the idea that he is 15 years old does that to me.

I have not been staying at my place the past few nights. When I got home from taking John back to his mother's Sunday night there was a message from very sick friend. My friend ended up so sick that I left works Monday to help out. My friend is a smoker and on top of already having bronchitis has just developed asthma and was in the throws of the very first asthma attack ever. I have been able to calm my friend and teach some relaxation and breathing tricks to help get through. My friend also has some anxiety issues which feed into the stress of the asthma attack and only make things worse.

Oh? My friend. You can shake you head like everyone else around here.....

Stephany.

I have to get back to her place as I have been taking the "night shift" taking care of her through the night and giving other family and friends a break.





OK, stop shaking your head.


I will go more into detail on this and how I am coping when things have died down and I have a chance to really digest how I am feeling.


Stop shaking your head at me!!!!

Apparently, you should not blog when you're on cold medication. Thanks to Lisa for reminding me of the down side to this past weekend at Shore Leave; the redecorating at the Marriott Hunt Valley Inn. I don't know what kind of drugs the management was on when they decided to redecorate but they must have been very illegal and very cheap because the result was worse than some of the hairpeices Burt Reynolds wore during the 90's.

The Hunt Valley Inn was originally designed to resemble a hunting lodge. The McCormick family had it built to serve as a hotel to serve the business needs of the family-run spice company which was headquartered nearby. It is sprawling and spacious with dark and warm color schemes, exposed rafters and loaded with inviting spaces. The lobby welcomed you as if you were walking into someone's home. The lounge between there and the restaurant looked like a living room.

Now these areas, in an apparent attempt to look like every other hotel in the world, looks as if they hired a mad movie set designer and told them to create an airport lounge. The lobby is awash in bright indirect lighting and centerpieced with what looks like a bank teller counter. The comfortable and cozy furniture of the lounge is now replaced with a highbacked set of demented art deco style semi-circular couches which have turned a communal gathering place into four "cells" from which you have to stretch and strain to see the rest of the room.

And then there's the bar....

The Paddock Bar is gone. This was also once in keeping with the open inviting feel of the rest of the hotel with comfortable chairs and delicate lighting but has now been replaced with ten-ton metal high backs and Christmas tree lighting. Atop the bar itself are these two....I guess art pieces, which look sea anemone. Also gone are the themed art pieces which kept with the hunting lodge theme of the hotel. Since the theme is gone, so is the name. The Paddock Bar is now the Cinn Bar. I've looked....CINN is nowhere in the dictionary. It's hip...it's trendy...it sucks!

I understand that after some time redecoration does have to happen. Things wear out, paint fades and styles change. For 20-some odd years I have been coming to this hotel for Shore Leave and part of the draw has been the hotel. While most hotels look like every other hotel on the planet the Hunt Valley Inn was unique. Now it looks like Joe's Hotel. It looks like they hired a mentally challenged Feng Shui consultant because this designer Feng-ed up all over the place.

All of the elements they were trying to add to the hotel have been crammed into the space and physical architecture of the building itself. It all stands out too much and does not blend in at all with its surroundings. The Christmas tree lights are fit in between the exposed rafters. The sea grass grown from old style brick planters and small uncomfortable furniture tries to fill large rooms.

The worst example of what was wrong with the redesign has got to be the carpets. Some of the original remains but in certain areas and, like other elements of the redesign, crammed into small panels in high traffic areas are designs of bright gaudy and conflicting color schemes. It looks as it the designed took a handful of fluorescent colored crayons and simply started scribbling. One design is an odd set of circles done in reds, yellows, greens and oranges. I think one of the reasons I came home sick from this year's convention was due to an allergic reaction to the carpets!

It wasn't just me either. The redesign was universally panned the entire weekend. It was mentioned by the stars and got mentions during the masquerade and the Sunday night entertainment. It is probably tilting against windmills to expect that the Marriott company would really listen to the complaints and change things back but I hope those who said they were going to complain do and that some reaction is heard from management. All I want them to know is that they have made a serious mistake and forever ruined what was once a unique and beautiful hotel.

This is the first chance I have had to post about my annual trip to Shore Leave because I came home with an unplanned souvenir; a cold. It started Monday morning as we were leaving with a scratchy throat and has yet to give up residence with a runny nose and clogged chest. I would have rather had the t-shirt.

Other than that it was a wonderful weekend. Wrapped around the usual fun of Shore Leave was the 20th Anniversary Reunion of the USS McAuliffe. If you haven't seen references to the McA in my posts then you haven't been reading closely enough. These are friends of mine for, well....the past 20 years and a gathering was planned at this years con. Shore Leave was always a major road trip for everyone in the Boston area, so it seemed the logical place for a get together.

This year it was only my friend, Cheryl, my son and I traveling from Florida and this year we opted to fly. It did make for a easier trip although I did miss the stop at South of the Border. There is always next year.

Friday morning had us rested and ready for a day of sightseeing in Washington, DC. We headed first to Arlington Cemetery. Neither John nor Cheryl had ever been there so I enjoyed sharing it with them. Being there with my son was we approached the Kennedy gravesite brought back memories of a similar trip with my father. He really enjoyed watching the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns.

After leaving there we tried in vain to locate the "Exorcist Stairs" in Georgetown. Not an easy thing in the one part of DC with which I am not that familiar. It did give the both of them a chance to see parts of the city they had not seen.

The highlight of the day was finally making it to John Eaton Elementary School in Cleveland Park. For the past three years I have been trying to get there and it was certainly worth the wait. Seeing the pictures on the internet was one ting but to actually pull up in front of a large brick building with my own name in bronze on the front....I laughed out loud.

We first took some photos outside and then entered the hallowed halls. Maria, the Business Manager was all smiles as we walked in. She quickly introduced our tour guides, 10 year old Grecia and 8 year old Amanda. These two girls took us through almost every single room and closet in the building. They politely answered all of our questions about the school and told us which rooms were theirs and where things went in each room and shortcuts from one part of the school to the other. They were adorable. They had a problem getting their minds wrapped around the concept that both my son and I had the same names. Still, they were impressed enough that we had the same name as their school. We posed for more pictures and then were presented with books on the school and t-shirts. John got the really cool one with a picture of the school on it. Mine just says, "Eaton"; as if I have problems remembering my own last name.

Not only was the Boston crowd there but my old pal Lisa was there. She travels each year with a groups of her friends from upstate New York. She is one of my dearest friends. Which is why I let her believe I was not attending this year. Actually, at one point I almost wasn't until a friend came to my rescue. Still, in time honored Shore Leave tradition this trick is regularly pulled on someone. This was Lisa's turn.

As always, the convention itself is secondary to spending the weekend with friends. However, guests this year included a number of actors from "Stargate" and my favorite from "Farscape, Gigi Hedgley. From the "old school" crowd, which I always enjoy seeing, were William Schallert and Kent McCord. My father would have loved the fact that I got to meet Kent McCord. Adam-12 was one of the shows we always watched together. Adam-12 is also a childhood favorite of John's stepfather and we had a little bit of fun with that. John has a cell phone with a camera built in which we used to take a photo of the two of them together. We then emailed it to his stepfather's cell phone while he was out on patrol.

The first three nights were filled with parties and drinking. In the past I have held this at bay when John has been along but he's a year older now, was asleep for most of it and I did have a broken heart to sanitize with the alcohol. Not that I've gotten as intoxicated as I have in the past but there was that one embarrassing moment when a friend of mine reminded me of part of the evening I couldn't recall....with John standing right there to hear the whole story.

Ahhh, chalk up another childhood memory added!!!!

All in all a great weekend as always and we begin the countdown to next year. I have posted photos from the trip here.

Well, I'm single again.

I don't even know where to start on how this whole thing unraveled except to say that Stephany had a whole bushelful of issues going on that made a relationship next to impossible. I tried holding on as long as I could and eventually she is the one who pulled the plug.

But we'll get to that in a moment.

The major issue is her family. There is the oddest of family dynamic going on in which control of the family is exerted by her grandparents. She seems terrified of upsetting her grandparents over topics such as her smoking, length of her hair and people she dates. Now the family is preparing to move out of Florida and Stephany is compelled to go with them. She can't fathom being apart from them so much so that she would sacrifice a relationship, with me or anyone, in order to stay with her family. Michael Corleone wasn't as obsessed with his family as she is. She has no sense of her own self worth or self identity. It's sad really and I have told her as much.

Then, there was the way she ended things. Saturday night we were on he phone late. As we talked. I could hear the clacking of the keys on her PC. No problem, I multi-task all the time. When we finally hung up I walked the 7 steps from the phone to the computer and there was an email waiting for me.

Hey what's up? well not to much here just chillin and talking to you on the phone- anyway I know you have been wondering what's going on between us- well I have been thinking about it and I need to find myself- I'm not ready to be with anyone right now- like I told you in the beginning I am known to hurt people and that's the last thing i wanted to do to you.

The immense noise made by my heart being ripped out was deafening. I tried calling her but, of course, she didn't pick up the phone. The next day we exchanged a few emails and did eventually talk on the phone. I still tried to reason with her. It wasn't until I talked to her face to face at work on Monday when I could see in her eyes that her mind, as screwed up as it was, had been made up.

I have been through the remorse, hurt, and anger. Right now it is sadness. Not only for the potential I saw in the relationship but for the outlook she has on life. For someone that young to be closing herself off to life is really sad. The worst part is that she doesn't see it. It was only 9 weeks out of my life and it was good while it lasted. We learn from each person we meet in life and boy did I get an education in this one.

The biggest lesson I learned is that I have got some wonderful friends around me. They let me walk the tightrope I was on and when the time was right told me I was about to fall. They offered a safety net. They also were good enough to shake the tightrope at times to let me know just how dangerous a situation I was in. They let me make an ass out of myself and let me run with my emotions as far as I wanted. And now that's it's over they are patient and understanding as I put myself back together again.

Thanks Tracy and Patrick.

Onward and upward. There's rumor there are possibly two or three other women at work who might actually be interested!

Wow! All of a sudden...I'm a player!

Here is my new ride. It ain't pimped out. It ain't no Bluesmobile or Shuttlecraft....BUT IT RUNS!!!!!!!!!



A 1989 Pontiac Bonneville. I'm told "her" name is Bessie but now that "she's" my car we'll have to see if the personality develops.

On drinving the car for the first time I did honor a long time tradition I follow with all my cars....I threw the cigarette lighter out the window.

If you don't get the reference, watch the first ten minuets of "The Blues Brothers".

He looks so good.

He was such a nice guy.

I didn't even know he was sick.

These are all of the usual things you hear at a funeral. You can begin practicing saying all of these things about me because I am, apparently, dead.

I called my answering machine today to check messages when I got the following:

"I am calling in reference to the estate of the LATE JOHN EATON......."

Needless to say, I was taken aback by the news. I was immediately reminded of the MASH episode when Hawkeye is mistaken for dead. My situation , however, is nothing as drastic. This is simply a ploy by a bill collector to get me to call. I am supposed to become all upset and worried calling the number left on my machine to correct the error. The conversation would the go:

"Well, if you're not dead, Mr. Eaton, you can send us the money you owe us."

Needless to say, I have not called them back. However, I am planning a quite lavish wake. What the hell, I might as well enjoy this one.

Proof of how important genetics is, a recent phone conversation between my son and me.

John; Hello.

Jack: Hi, how are you?

John: OK.

Jack: Guess what.

John: What?

Jack: I beat ya'!

John: What the heck are you talking about, Dad?

Jack: I got a girlfriend before you did!

Silence for two seconds

John: Bite me!

Most parents would be upset and offended of their child spoke back to them in such a manner. Not me....this was yet another fine moment in Eaton Family History!

It is now official.

I have a girlfriend.

Things have continued to go well over the past few weeks with Stephany. However, through all of it I was haunted by a slight sense of insecurity. There were what I interpreted as mixed messages and occasional moments where I felt that she was going out of her way to make things difficult for us to be together. But through all of it she continued to send positive feedback to me on how things were going and would say things which made it feel more and more that we were in a relationship. I finally decided that the cards had to be laid on the table. Many of our conversations because there were things I wanted to say to her but did not feel right without some declaration of what kind of a relationship we actually had.

The evening started out with plans for dinner. As usual, these plans were interrupted and changed at the last moment due to family concerns. I fought my insecurities I'd been battling for the past few weeks but this time won them over as we did finally end up with time alone.

Under a starlit night we walked down a fishing pier and talked. Well, I did the talking. I stuttered and stammered through what I had been practicing for days. I had even brought notes and even had to refer to them from time to time. I wondered if it was cute and endearing or pathetic. Well, when I finally got to the bottom line it seemed as if I had steered away from pathetic as Stephany agreed with what I was saying. She said she also felt things had been going well with us.

Then silence. There seemed to be words I was still looking to hear. I decided to go with cute and endearing again.

"So...?" I asked as I leaned against her shoulder and in a bad impression of Goofy said, "Can I be yer boyfriend?"

She laughed first and said, "Yes."

SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!!

If I could freeze that moment and hold it I would. My heart seemed to stop. The world seemed to halt its rotation. All there was in the universe at that moment were Stephany and me on that pier.

I have been accused by many for falling into relationships fast so I am not going to admit to that in this case or give into any far flung hopes for this relationship now that it is official. All I will admit to is what I promised Stephany; to be something I might not have been in the past, a better partner. To make her happy and to make her proud. We'll take it one step at a time.

These first steps do feel pretty good so far.

Most of the day today I must seem to be distracted to anyone who sees me. That is because I have a little movie playing in my head which is replaying the date Stephany and I went on last night. It was the first time we were on a date by ourselves. We've spent countless hours on the phone and did get out last weekend, but this was just us.

Perfect.

We went to a restaurant down by the waterfront. We were seating on the covered deck where we could see the lights of the causeway reflecting on the intercoastal waterway. It might not sound postcard perfect but the setting, the sounds of the water and the light ocean breeze added to the whole affect.

The place was crowded and a steel drum band kept played outside. Of course, I didn't notice it much as all I could see in the entire restaurant was her. I don't know if I was trying to be cute or just stupid with anxiety, but I used a reference to an earlier conversation as a way of asking to hold her hand. When her hand touched mine the size of the universe seemed to get even smaller. She commented on how soft me hand was. I kept the conversation going even though I was still in shock that I was the person sitting there holding her hand.

After dinner we took a walk on the beach holding hands. Nothing else I could think of felt so right. We talked and laughed the whole time I was burning every second of the evening into my brain. The way the breeze lifted her hair and how the moonlight shaded her face.

After being driven off by sand fleas we came back to my place for a little while. I showed her some old photos of me and some of Johnny's baby pictures. You may roll your eyes at this but after she left I called her and talked to her while she drove back to her apartment. She has a slight anxiety problem with driving at night. Well, that and it allows me to be the geeky boyfriend spending more countless hours on the phone with her. We have NEVER had one of those "You hang up first" moments so it's not as bad as you might first think.

I still find it amazing that I'm even in this position. Every once in a while during the evening I would look around to make sure Ashton Kutcher was just about to come around a corner telling me I'd been Punk'd. I had to keep making reality checks to be sure I wasn't imagining things.

So far, no Ashton; but I've stopped watching "That 70's Show" just in case.

OK, let's get some of the humor out of the way; here is a sampling of some of the better jokes which have gone around about Stephany and me.

My friend, Patrick, left the following note on my desk:
I just wanted to let you know that an Amber Alert had been issued for your department.

I was on the phone with my friend Sandy who, after laughing at the situation got very serious and began offering some honest encouragement....well, at first anyway, she put a new spin on an old joke:
"Jack, It is nice that you have a young girl like her that is interested. We all want you to be happy. I hope this works out for you....I just hope you don;t forget where you put her."

Even I have gotten into the act pointing out that being in a relationship with me should be nothing new for Stephany because her last job was at an Assisted Living Home.

The best, by far, was my "good friend" Lisa. I started telling her how Steph and I had met and that we had met at work and she was always smiling at me. I told her that since it had been a long time that I had been dating I had to remember that smiling was a good sign. To which she answered, "Yeah, but at this age you can't tell is she's really smiling or if it's just gas!"

That's what friends are for!